Born and raised in South Central Los Angeles, I learned very early in life that you have to be wise. The hood is full of traps and most people kill for absolutely no reason at all.
At the age of seven, one of my earliest memories was the 1992 Rodney King Riots. To this day I can still remember driving down Crenshaw witnessing the mass chaos, people shooting guns, looting, and burning buildings as far as my eyes could see.
For a child, this experience was absolutely devastating.
For 30 years I lived in this ruthless Blood and Crip, gang-infested environment called South Central.
It was brutal. It was violent. It was real life!
And while kids in Newport Beach could party all night, get drunk and make teenager mistakes.
In the hood, for those same teenage mistakes, my homies were getting gunned down, shot in the face and brutally murdered.
In this article, I’m going to share the 10 greatest lessons I learned in the hood and how to apply them to your life. And if you think these rules don’t apply to you because you live somewhere in the middle-class suburbs; that’s your first mistake.
In the hood, that mistake would get you killed!
Let’s get it popping.
1. Never Make Assumptions
You assume because you think you know! But if you knew better you wouldn’t assume at all.
Assumptions will get you chipped (i.e. murdered). The Webster definition of an assumption is when you’ve accepted a thing as true or certain to happen, without proof.
But life doesn’t work that way…
And that’s where it gets dangerous!
You have to be dynamic, adaptable to forever changing to your environment and circumstances. If something doesn’t work in your life adapt — when something else falls apart (which it will) adjust.
And adjust quickly!
Don’t make an assumption about ANYTHING…Take everything for what it is, at that moment and proceed from there.
2. Never Get Caught Slipping
The hood is swarming with serial killers!
“Slipping” is a term which means you’re not paying attention to important details; playing around or lacking the mental focus and clarity.
Like making assumptions, getting caught slipping will get you killed!
Me and Nipsey Hussle both grew up in the Crenshaw district. As kids and adults, we probably lived within 10 blocks or less from each other in the same neighborhood.
All things considered, Nipsey, in front of his own store, in his own community got caught slipping; and he was brutally gunned down for it.
Anytime, at any place now and/or in the future.
When you lose your mental edge, you open the door to a superior force which is more focused, at that moment in time; to impose their will on you!
However, they see fit!
Sometimes their will is good, but often time their will is evil.
Keep your mind powered on at all times! Don’t drift to and fro in life mentally daydreaming for weeks and losing your mental edge.
Stay sharp, stay present and stay focused!
3. Never Do Hard Drugs
This one might seem like a no brainer, but its importance merit the mention.
Cocaine rewires the brain!
And meth…well I don’t know because they don’t do meth in the hood.
But if you want to live a life full of purpose, peace, and prosperity; hard drugs is absolutely out! There is something about doing hard drugs that opens your soul to darkness, demons and the source of all evil.
Prayer opens your spirit to God, and hard drugs open your soul to the devil.
Don’t dance with the lady in the red dress.
She’ll kill you!
4. Never Get Too Drunk
Getting drunk directly relates to never doing hard drugs, as they both tend to co-exist together.
Proverbs 20:1 says that “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.”
Therefore be wise!
No matter who you are, or how high you think your alcohol tolerance is; getting drunk has a way of getting the best of everybody.
And I mean everybody.
Trust me I know!
I’ve been in some real-life or death situations, caught slipping because I was too drunk. My father committed suicide, shot himself; partly due to being drunk on the bottle.
Getting drunk makes people do stupid things.
I love to drink. I love having a good time throwing back shots of Jack Daniels. But as I’ve got older I learned that you must do everything in moderation.
Never drink alone, especially women. Predators are always lurking and evil is always present.
Getting to drunk will led you astray; God forbid into the wrong hands.
Party hard, have fun and turn up. But stay focused, follow your gut and never get caught slipping.
5. Never Keep The Wrong Company
My mother used to tell me growing up, Bryan (with a soft voice full of love) — you need to watch the company you keep!
And she was right.
By the age of 15 and 16 years old, I was ditching school, in the streets kicking with the homies.
All my homies we’re gangbangers and/or on the path to becoming gang bangers. That’s just the way it was.
In LA, gang culture is systemic.
Looking back in retrospect, I’ve come to the conclusion that many of my dead homies died as a result of keeping the wrong company.
Albeit, often subtle; breaking this rule and hanging with the wrong people for a couple seconds can get you killed!
My God-Brother Delaney Dokins got off work, headed to his homie house (which he did every day) to grab some weed. He pulled into the alley, left his car running with door open (i.e. he was running in and out), he said what’s up to his homie; and somebody ambushed him.
The killer shot my brother in his back, blowing his heart out and continued to shot him numerous times in the upper torso as he laid dying in the alleyway.
The whole endeavor took less than 30 seconds.
Keeping the wrong company is a critical mistake people often make to feel accepted. Often times, we don’t want to leave the friends we grew up with behind. So we deal with them. We continue to hang out with them; all in the name of keeping it real!
But the truth is, those same friends you’re keeping it real with; will kill you!
Never keep the wrong company, not even for a second.
Don’t play with this one!
Follow your spirit. If something is telling you somebody isn’t good for you.
Trust yourself before you trust anybody else.
6. Never Let Them Play You
In the hood, getting played is when somebody tricks you out of something or into a situation.
This mistake is crafty and deadly.
Woman have been known to lure men of the opposite gang into a trap, leaving the unsuspected person to get robbed or shot to death.
Some people in life have a tendency to prey on the weakness of others. You must be able to identify these people as soon as you meet them, don’t trust them; their heart is full of malice.
When these predators spot a weakness in you, oftentimes through asking you for something first. When you comply, they proceed to play you (i.e. trick you), pounce and take everything you have.
When somebody tries to play you, stop it immediately!
Always call it out right then and there. Let people know you’re not to play with and be dead serious about that.
For me, I will kill when it comes to the well being of me and my family. Play with me and I’ll reunite your family at Church because the only way to deal with evil is to kill it.
Stay away from snakes and people who take, take and take sucking the life out of you. Don’t ever let them play you, cause when you do; you’ll open the door to your own demise.
7. Never Lose Control of Your Emotions
If one factor could be responsible for all the murders in the hood; this would be it.
Losing control of your emotions due to a lack of emotional intelligence.
The environmental pressure of poverty combined with the absence of hope is a recipe for violence.
Combine the loss of hope and object poverty with the inability to control emotions (due to said poverty), mixed with gangs, drugs and military artillery; and it becomes a warzone!
Welcome to the inner-city ghettos…
In middle school, I learned very early in life that unstable emotions and irradicate behavior could put me in a life-changing situation that is often irreversible!
One of the greatest revelations you could ever have is the day you discover that you are not your emotions.
One of the greatest revelations you could ever have is the day you discover that you are not your emotions.
You and your emotions are two distinctive entities.
Who you are, and how you feel are completely seperate! But oftentimes we tie how we feel to who we are so we’re swayed up and down, side to side on an emotional rollercoaster ride.
The definition of an emotion is a feeling obtained through reason or knowledge.
And your reason and knowledge are finite.
But God and his universe is infinite!
Therefore, it could only be concluded that your emotions, reason and knowledge are based on a limited perspective, which isn’t the true; so, consequently, it has to be a lie.
And this is where it gets dangerous!
Stop making permanent choices based on temporary circumstances. Because circumstances change but decisions don’t.
It’s extremely important to learn how to seperate yourself from how you feel. Meditate, exercise, actively stay present and guard your mind.
This will, in turn, increase your awareness, which increases your emotional intelligence leading to mental stability and a constant state of peace, love, and happiness.
8. Never Talk Too Much
In the hood, say the wrong thing, to the wrong person at the wrong time and you’ll be the next RIP post on Instagram.
True story.
I’ve seen it happen! Many times.
The bible says it clearly, whoever keeps his mouth shut keeps himself out of trouble. Or better yet, even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise and intelligent.
It’s important to always say less than necessary. Watch your words because human beings are inherently selfish and evil!
They’ll use your words against you.
A wise man of few words makes people uncomfortable. People want clarity and meaning, so when they don’t find it in what you say; it’ll throw them off balance and cause them to reveal their internal motives and intentions.
Which is good because you can probe a person character through silence, and that brings me to my second point.
Always pay attention to what other people say.
Never take a persons words for anything less than the ‘their’ truth.
Look into a person’s eyes when they talk.
The little phrases and laughs. The facial gestures and innuendos are all windows into their soul. Wisdom is restricting your speech while drawing out speech in others to discover intentions.
Wisdom is restricting your speech while drawing out speech in others to discover intentions.
Upon discovery, adjust yourself accordingly.
9. Never Be a Follower
Following this rule is the sole reason I’m still alive today!
Growing up in South Central LA I was pulled in all directions, influenced by my peers but here I stand.
I stand here because even as a lad, I’ve always stayed true to my internal compass.
My north star.
My own Google maps.
When my homeboys we’re hitting licks, robbing, and killing; I was with them. I saw them do it! But never once could they ever say they made me do something I didn’t want to do.
Because it wasn’t who I was.
And even at the age of 13 and 14 years old, I understood this.
The only entity you should follow is God!
Whatever that may mean to you.
Your life’s purpose comes from the creator of all things. That’s the only program you should be on — life is too short.
Everyone who knew me growing up could tell you I was always a young boy about mission and purpose. When my homies were telling me I wasn’t hard enough because I refused to kill people.
I found peace in some future and deeper meaning of life.
And while they may have criticized me then, 90% of them are doing life in prison or stuck on the wrong side of the dirt in the graveyard.
This lesson is critically important.
You could be a great person with good intentions but miss this lesson and you’ll find yourself on a t-shirt.
The desire to follow people blindly is only a deep insecurity undiscovered within. Identify ‘said’ insecurity and deal with it or suffer the consequences!
Follow no human being, no crowds, and no fads.
Listen to your internal voice and it will never lead you wrong!
10. Never Show Fear
The spirit of fear can absolutely and unequivocally destroy all your chances for success.
People will pounce on your weakness if you show fear.
I’ve been in multiple life and death situations where the outcome was decided within milliseconds, and within these seconds fear and/or the lack thereof was the only deciding factor.
Fear is a spirit.
If this spirit is left unchecked it will render you useless in every situation that you encounter. It will paralyze your body, restrain your mind and send you into a tailspin that is impossible to control.
When the spirit of fear becomes a constant mental state, it will lead to the ruthless cycle of depression.
It’s critically important that you get a grip on what you’re afraid of. Facedown things you’re scared of, meet it headfirst and attack until the fear subsides.
Exercise courage.
Courage isn’t the absence of fear! Courage is the action despite the presence of fear.
Fear will never completely disappear.
You must accept that.
But you can control your mind to use fear as a weapon that will propel you past your obstacles.
